Mindfulness-Centered Couples Therapy
Loving from wholeness
What does that really mean? It means being fully ourselves and fully connected. It also means being able to share with honesty, vulnerability, and authenticity while feeling connected and attuned to your partner, and doing the same with listening.
I often find that couples believe that you can only have one or the other: you can only be fully yourself, or fully connected, not both at the same time. While it is true that prioritizing your relationship takes compromise and commitment, our being (and often our partner) long to be true to who we are while maintaining and deepening connection with those we love. I find that embracing this paradox of relationship brings more intimacy, connection, and aliveness into relationship itself.
Moving this way often takes some work. Often, couples will seek Couples Counseling when they find that they are in a stuck place, repeating the same negativity cycle over and over again, missing the intimacy that they once had, or are having a difficult time deciding about the future. Because of these repeating patterns, the wants, needs, desires, and fears underneath the patterns may be missing the safety and holding to be expressed.
These fears and desires may even be unconscious. By supporting you to get in touch with these vulnerable parts in a safe container, the negative cycle can soften and unwind itself as a new, positive cycle starts to take its place. The parts that might feel alone, powerless, or isolated from your partner will have the chance to be met and lovingly accepted.
Couples Therapy often Involves:
Recognizing the unique Negativity Cycle that you and your partner go through in conflict and stuckness (the good news is that usually there are only one or two different cycles)
Learning tools and skills to step out of the cycle together
Surfacing and healing past wounds and circumstances that have led to the cycle, including previous relationships, family of origin work, trauma, etc.
Communicating your wants and needs in a kind and authentic way
Learning to receive and hear your partner communicate their wants and needs
Building trust in your and your partner’s ability to empathize, attach, and relate from wholeness
In my work with couples, I draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy and Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Couples Therapy. I have experience supporting couples in premarital therapy, intimacy and communication issues, and repairing trust after a rupture.
I invite you to reach out if you are interested in working with me, or curious to learn more.